Frozen Crystals
by Crimson-0rchid
Summary: Tala attempted suicide; it was the only solution he saw to end the pain and memories haunting him. Can a certain Phoenix break the ice that the Wolf has locked himself away in? KaixTala. Yaoi.
1. Bitter Sweet Goodbye

**Warnings**: well it is rated M. But this will eventually be shounen-ai/yaoi. There will also be angst and some awful language.

**Disclaimer**: Oh if only I did own Beyblade. I would make me and all my fellow yaoi fans so happy...*Starts gazing off* so happy...

So in this story in this story Kai is 18 and Tala is 19.

"Talking"

'Thoughts'

_Flashbacks _

**Frozen Crystals**

**Chapter 1: Bitter Sweet Goodbye**

Tala sat on the cool tile of the bathroom floor playing with a small switchblade in his hands. It's cool metal bringing him comfort as he thought about the relief to come. He truly was a being of winter; he always found the cold so comforting and loved how it seemed to slow everything down. A sad smile came across the red head's lips. 'Soon, this will all end...'

'End; it was such a concrete word. Finally sitting here only mere moments away from death, no relief...the idea both scares and relieves me. As much as I want it all to stop, it's become such a part of me that it's a part of my soul. My mother was my shield against the horror of the world, and once she left it all just came flooding in. I was only four when I lost her, but the day she died remains vivid in my mind...the memory haunting my dreams..._She lay in her hospital bed looking so fragile and drained. I inherited all my signature features from her; snow skin, fire hair and ice eyes...but hers were always warmer than mine. She always smiled, even near the end when the cancer was running rapid through her small body she always found a way to smile at me._

_I sat at the end of her bed staring in innocent fascination; all the machines made such an array of noises and movements that amused me. Her blue eyes fluttered opened with something in them that at the time was new to me. But now I know it all too well; death._

"_Come here Teddy." She smiled at me and opened her arms welcoming me to her. I still smile at the nickname. I was small for my age and apparently very huggable...where did that boy go? _

"_Come here, Teddy." She said in strained raspy voice. I still smile at the nickname she had for based on how small I was for my age and how huggable she said I was._

_I climb slowly and carefully up the bed until I'm right beside her. She wraps her arms around me hugging me as tight as she can. "I love you more than anything in this whole world Teddy. You know that?" I smile and nod up at her playing with the loose strings of her hospital gown._

_It was silent for a few moments before she finally choked out "I don't think I have much more time baby...I can't do this anymore."_

_I look up at her with a sad look on my face, understanding what she means. She had been gently preparing me for the worst since her body first started rejecting any treatment. _"_Don't give me that look." She said smiling and rubbing away a tear that had run down my cheek. "You're such a great and brilliant boy and my God you're going to be such a handsome man someday." She kisses me softly before whispering how proud she was of me,_

"_I love you mom." She started to say it back when suddenly all the machines began to go off. I just stare up into her empty eyes not believing that this was it. Death came in so quietly took what He was looking for and slipped out before you noticed He was ever there. Several nurses had come in and were quickly tending to her. My mother's closest friend Faith was one of the nurses on this floor. She rescued me from the chaos scooping me up and caring me out of my mother's room._

_We sat down in the I.C.U. Family Room her placing me in her lap. I remember how it was painted a pale yellow colour with soft red coloured furniture. It was comforting compared to harsh white walls that plagued the rest of the hospital. Faith looked down at me sending me a weak smile of comfort but said no words, she just held me tight rocking back and forth as I let my tears fall. _'Then I was stuck with _him; _my stepfather. I really don't know what my mother saw in him or why she kept him around. She was his beating toy and when she left, I became the replacement. When it wasn't the beatings, it was the drunken fits of rage as he threw things around; breaking my mother's priceless dishes, ordainments and other belongings. Breaking what I had left of her.'

'...Except for one thing. It was the only thing I was able to save. I snuck in while he was sleeping, carefully crawling around then snatching her precious gold locket from her jewellery box.'

Tala pulled the locket out from under his t-shirt rubbing a thumb over the engraved words. Opening he found his mother and a much younger version of himself staring at him, their smiles and eyes bright as the day.

Tears started to fall as the metal finally made contact with Tala's skin. A sudden rush took over him and he quickly found himself unable to stop. The blade was dragged over his skin again and again. His wrist fell weakly beside him as he let his head fall against the tub, welcoming the dizziness that came over him. He looked down at the pool of blood that was forming around his legs and could feel the pain seeping out with it. A phantom suddenly appeared before his eyes.

"Kai…" He whispered a smile gracing his lips for hopefully the last time. "Not even you can help me from drowning." The blurred face disappeared replacing itself with complete darkness.

xoxoxox

"-Sigh-…shit I hate Tuesdays. There's never _anything _on TV. Over four hundred channels and shit on. How is that possible? Too much reality shit on. Like really, who really cares about some poor lonely guy who can't get a date so then is set up with a group of women and then they'll live happily ever after! Ha! I give it two weeks."

'Hmmm I just realized I've been talking to myself for about five minutes. Healthy…stupid TV.'

The bluenette gave up channel surfing and shut the TV off. Tuesday nights were normally one of his nights at the gym but apparently some flooding had closed the gym for the next three days. Sighing Kai rubbed at a knot in the back of his neck deciding a hot shower and then bed sounded perfect.

Kai walked to his bedroom in search of a change of clothes but as he passed the bathroom he swore he heard his name whispered. 'Ok I don't think I'm _that_ crazy yet.'

"Tala?" Kai asked while knocking on the door. Receiving no answer he wrapped his hand around the door handle finding it unlocked. 'Ok so maybe he isn't in there and I _am_ going crazy...comforting.'

Kai opened the door and taking a step in he heard a slight splash. Looking down the bluenette saw the puddle of blood and the red head that it spilled from. Kai froze as he realised what he was seeing; Tala was bleeding with his old switchblade by his side and his face...his face was graced with the most haunting smile.

Finally snapping out of it Kai ran to Tala's side searching frantically for a pulse.

"Come on Tala, you fucking fuck! If you die I'll bring you back so I can strangle you with my own two hands!" He found one; faint but still there. He grabbed a towel from the shelf ripping it trying anxiously to stop any more blood from spilling out of the multiple wounds. Pulling out his cell phone he called for an ambulance not noticing how shaky his voice was. Placing his phone back Kai stared back as his roommate fixated on his face.

'That smile, He looks so…happy. Satisfied and even at peace with the fact that he's on the verge of death. But Why? I know Tala was never the happiest kid but hell none of us from the Abbey are. But he never gave any sign of being _this_ unhappy. Or did he? A person doesn't just do something this extreme without motive. How didn't I notice?' Without even thinking the younger Russian pulled Tala into his arms and held him until the ambulance arrived.

Xoxoxox

Hours had passed since they had arrived at the hospital and Kai still hadn't heard a thing about the red head. People came and went from the waiting room and the only person to pay him any attention was nightly floor cleaner who had politely asked him to lift up his feet. Kai cursed hospitals; their ineffective staff, white walls, sterile smell and sandpaper tissues. The phoenix growled and settled on staring blankly up at the ceiling, he hated hospitals.

Finally a tall man with salt and pepper hair and small rimmed glasses approached Kai.

"Mr Hiwatari I presume? I'm the doctor tending to Mr. Ivanov." The doctor held a hand out to Kai as he took the seat across from him. Kai pulled his interest from the spots on the ceiling to the doctor and accepted his hand.

"How are you feeling?"

"Hn. Just perfect." Kai responded in sarcasm, he already didn't like this guy.

Nodding the doctor brushed it off as he'd dealt with nearly every reaction to that question in his years of practice. Carrying on the doctor pulled out Tala's chart and took a deep breath; attempted and succeeded suicides still made him uncomfortable.

"Well, Mr. Ivanov of course lost a lot of blood and is receiving a transfusion as we speak. However the blood loss has caused him to slip into a mild coma. I estimate it'll only last a couple days to a week; then again his mental state has a great affect on when he wakes up. All nine incisions have been stitched up and bandaged. He hands are going to be fairly useless for the next little while until the cut muscle and tendons have healed. But other than some scaring he should physically heal up fine. He has been placed in the intensive care unit of floor nine and the hospital physiatrist will need to speak to you in morning as this a suicide situation. Now if you would like to follow me. You can visit him now."

With that the doctor rose and began leading Kai to the elevator. The bluenette's feet followed after the doctor but his mind was still back in the waiting room, the doctor's world swirling chaotically around in his head. Kai finally came back when he walked into the doctor; they had stopped outside a room. Looking down with an understanding smile the doctor opened the door for him.

"He's just in there." With that the doctor walked down the hall. Taking a deep breath the Phoenix walked through to find his broken wolf.

**Kai's POV**

Tala lays in the hospital bed his hair looking like real fire in comparison to the bleak white sheets which made him look paler than usual. He looks so vulnerable with his mask off. I approach his bedside taking his surroundings in; two blood drips and an IV have taken up residence on his already damaged arms. While a heart monitor and an oxygen machine work steadily away on the right hand side.

I gently brush my fingertips over the bandages then snap my hand away as if his pain transferred to me like electricity. I take a deep breath; I've got to keep it together. I run my fingers through his silky fiery locks attempting to fix the mess it had become. A small smile tugs at my lips as I imagine Tala's reaction if I ever _dared_ to touch his hair when he was awake.

Looking at him I realize I don't know him. Tala and I have been best friends most of our lives trudging through hell itself...but we've become strangers. A _real_ best friend would have seen this coming...Fuck! How could I have been so stupid?

"I'm so sorry Tala." It came out as choked whisper. "I swear if I had known you were so hurt, so sad…so broken, I would have helped. All you had to do was reach."

**Normal POV**

Letting out a shaky breath Kai bit back the tears that fought to fall. Tala was the only family and real connection that he had ever had. Kai grabbed one of the chairs from against the wall and pushed it as close to the bed as he could. Without thought he grabbed Tala's hand, laid his head down and was eventually lulled into a sleep by the beeping of Tala's steady heartbeat.

xoxoxox

Review?


	2. Internal Battles, External Bleeding

**Chapter 2: Internal Battles, External Bleeding.**

_He kept running and running but felt like he was going nowhere. He knew this place almost as well as Boris and the guards. So why the fuck could he not find the way out! He could hear Boris' footsteps echoing off the walls...he was coming for him. _

_"Talaaaa." Boris cooed and Tala could swear he suddenly heard the other children laughing at him but where the hell were they? He ran faster, he sure as hell wasn't going to stop and loose his slight advantage of being a few footsteps ahead of the Abbey leader._

_Then he saw it, a light! 'Oh thank fuck!' the red said and he reached for it. He could taste the freedom as he reached his hand out towards the door then something knocked at his feet. Tala fell smashing his face on the cold stone floor. He scrambled to get up but was knocked back into place when he felt a heavy boot on his back. Something was jammed into his neck before he was thrown over Boris' shoulder and carried down to the basement. Tala tried to scream in protest but nothing came. He tried to struggle against his capture but his body wouldn't cooperate. Everything felt so fucking heavy then it all went black._

xoxoxox

Crimson eyes slowly blinked themselves open as Kai took a few moments to remember where he was and why. Soft whimpering noises brought his attention to the red head lying next to him. Kai's heart sank as he saw the torment sketched across Tala's face, he looked as if he were about to break down and cry. The bluenette climbed onto the bed and perching himself on an elbow lay next to the wolf. He once again found himself running fingers through the fiery locks with thoughts of scooping the red head up in his arms running through his mind.

Kai had long since given up on fighting off the thoughts he had of Tala from his mind. He knew that Tala would never go for a man, let alone him. Tala was always saying how much he cared for Kai like a brother and how he was the only family Tala had ever known. But no matter how much Kai mentally punched himself and put himself down, the thoughts continued. Then they turned into dreams. Fuck the dreams; Kai both welcomed and hated them.

'You realise if he were to wake up and see us like this he'd kick your ass, right?' The thought struck him and he removed his fingers from Tala's hair.

'You're still in his bed...you know in case you forgot...oh and you held his hand _all_ last night. Very under the radar.'

(Shut-up! I'm here as his best friend, because I know what it's like to wake in the hospital alone and he doesn't deserve that. And the hand thing was just for comfort, I didn't really think about it.)

'Stop making excuses, you know you love him! Kai and Tala sitting in a tree K-I-S-'

(Oh for fucks sakes!)

Kai's little internal argument was interrupted when a nurse walked into the room. Taking in the scene of Kai lovingly lying by Tala's side she smiled.

"Good Afternoon sir. I'm just here to check your boyfriend's vitals. I believe the doctor will be in within the hour to do a check up and give you some details about Mr Ivanov's psyche evaluation. "

"Good after-" Kai flushed realising what the nurse said. "Oh no, I'm not his boyfriend. We're just close friends..." The nurse just simply gave a humouring nod and smiled again at Kai.

She began looking everything over, making notes as she did. "His heart rate and blood pressure are a little high." Looking at Tala's face she saw it to be covered in sweat and his bottom lips slightly trembling.

She placed the back of her hand against Tala's forehead double checking for signs of a fever and finding none. "Oh my, you must be having a bad time in there..."

xoxoxox

_He was strapped to a cold metal table. Feeling the cold everywhere he realized that he had been stripped down his boxers. He panicked and pulled against the leather restraints that held him down, but they wouldn't budge. He could see the scientists in the white jackets running around him from computer to computer. Some were also huddled around what appeared to be a glass tank. He heard them murmuring to each other something about a special chip._

_Then one of them was hovering over him. "He's awake." He called to the others. Then four others came over and joined him as they began to connect a series of tubes to his body. He wriggled around on the small table trying to escape. A mask was placed over his face as he began to scream slurs at the scientists. He heard one of them yell that they were ready. For what? _

_A needle was injected into his forearm and he felt as his muscles began to relax. A large man came to the side of the table and removed the restraints. 'Now is my chance.' The red thought in excitement, but once again his body failed him as it wouldn't move. The large man then threw him over his shoulder as if he were nothing and placed him into the glass tank. The man wrapped a harness around Tala to keep him suspended and then the tank was closed. Tala's eyes darted around the room then his feet felt wet...he panicked. The fucking tank was filling with a green liquid. What the hell were they planning on doing to him?_

_Then Boris' evil smile was in his view. He said something about creating perfection but everything was muffled to him. He began to get feeling back in his limbs and he instinctively grabbed at his neck and chest as the liquid rose over his head. He couldn't breathe! Boris smirked once again and then once again Tala found himself plunged into darkness. _

xoxoxox


End file.
